Adventures Elsewhere - Garmisch & Neuschwanstein

After Innsbruck, we drove back to Germany and stayed at the mountain resort town of Garmish-Partenkirchen which was extremely beautiful and quieter than the other cities we had been to during our trip.

We stayed at Hotel Konigshof which was one of my favorite hotels because I loved the pillows so much.  The longer we were on our trip and not sleeping in our usual bed, it was the little things that made me more comfortable that I really appreciated.

It was too cloudy and rainy to take the tram to the top of Zugspitze (Germany's highest mountain), but the nice lady at the tram ticket station recommended the Wankbahn, a cable car that takes you to the top of another really tall mountain where you can see views of Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Zugspitze and the rest of the Alps in that area.  So that's what we did and it was really beautiful.  It was also really, really cold and windy so we were pretty much the only ones up there, but it was totally worth it.

After the Wankbahn, we had a nice dinner and then relaxed at out hotel (i.e., watching German TV - Uppz - then Jim Gaffigan on the Tonight Show.)

Things we want to remember about Garmisch:
1) The view of the Alps/Zugspitze from our hotel room.
2) The happy cows that freely grazed over grass fields and had plenty of room to do so.
3) Taking the Wankbahn to see the fantastic views of the German Alps on Mother's Day.
4) The hotel receptionist being very nice and friendly but catching us off-guard when she told us,  "You sound very American, perhaps from the South?" (Oops. :/)

The next morning we drove to Neuschwanstein, commonly known as one of the castles that inspired the design of Disney's Cinderella Castle.  Neuschwanstein was beautiful.  While we were driving, we read a lot about it on our phones and in our tour book because we heard the tour of the castle would be quick - which it was.

Things we want to remember about Neuschwanstein:
1) Walking/hiking up to the castle - it was a beautiful walk and it felt nice to be outside.
2) The views of the Alps/Southern Bavaria from the Castle including the bridge (Marienbrucke) which was King Ludwig's favorite view.
3) We liked everything about the tour (no pictures inside were allowed).  The castle was a lot more modern (mid-19th century) than we realized.

P.S. Look how happy this cow is.  I think that's why German dairy is SO good. :)

The Elephant in My Room

I kept thinking about how I needed to write this post but was kind of dreading it because I didn't known where to start and what to include/not include, but my feeling to do this was getting stronger and stronger, and I just couldn't it put it off any longer.  So bear with me as I attempt to write about the elephant in my room.

Newel and I have been married for almost 5 years.  It's been so great.  Everyday spent with him gets better and better because he's the perfect husband, friend and companion for me.  Before we got married, we agreed on wanting to wait a little while (2ish years) before having children.  Well before 2ish years, I had strong impressions to stop taking birth control pills to give myself time to be off them and let my body re-balance before attempting to get pregnant.  So I stopped taking them and then I never got my period back.  I started seeing doctors to help me with this issue and thus began my journey of first trying to get normal cycles and then, once 2ish years came along, to get pregnant.

My journey has included rounds of Clomid, Letrazol, and Follistim shots as well as diet cleanses, herbal supplements, and essential oils interpersed with breaks of not trying anymore because I was stressed and tired and subconsciously hoped that I would actually get pregnant when we stopped trying.  I've had negative experiences with some treatments and positive ones with others.  I don't feel like going into the details of each treatment/experience, but if you happen to be reading this and want to know my experience using and/or doing something, I'd be happy to expound.  You'd just have to ask. :)

Initially, my journey was difficult emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.  I had those destructive self-doubts including feeling like I wasn't getting pregnant because of something I had done wrong.  I also felt alone in my challenges - which looking back is so weird because so many people have gone through similar things.  As time passed, I saw that I wasn't alone.  I can't even count how many friends and family members contacted me, saying they were thinking of me and just wanted to say hi and tell me they love me.  This happened at least once a week or every other week for several months.  I felt really loved and supported and it was especially cool because most people didn't know I was having a hard time.

As my journey continued, I went through times where things were looking up and I was feeling good and positive, and then periods where things wouldn't work the way I thought they would, and tests came back negative or blood work gave no definitive reason for my challenge and I would get sad.  And while I was sincerely happy for friends and family that got pregnant, my heart would ache because I wanted the same thing so badly. 

And guess what, my journey continues.  I don't know how much longer it will last or how it will conclude, but I'm grateful for all that I've learned, and I know that I am better because of all of it.

I can't even begin to write all the different things I've learned the last few years, big and small.  One thing that stands out to me is how much I learned to truly, deeply, and completely love myself and my body/spirit.  I went through a long time of feeling betrayed by my body because it wasn't doing what it was created to do.  After reading books, articles and blogs related to fertility as well as holistic health and well-being, I realized how disconnected and unappreciative I was of my body and all that it does for me.  Last year I started doing this little exercise when I'm falling asleep at night - I put my hand over my heart and (in my head) thank it for beating every moment of my life, for it pumping blood throughout my body.  I thank my brain for thinking clearly and my stomach for digesting foods I consume.  I thank my legs for walking and my arms for lifting and whatever else comes to my mind. I know it sounds silly, but it's completely changed the way I look at myself and my physical strengths/weakness.  I now truly love and express gratitude for the wonderful, healthy body I've been given.  I love and accept it, all of it, completely. 

Another thing I learned is how completely and unconditionally God loves us and is aware of us.  I mentioned earlier how friends and family would randomly text or email me and tell me they love me and are thinking of me.  I instantly knew that these messages from family and friends were God's way of communicating to me that He loves me and is thinking of me.  These experiences helped me realize I'm not alone, nor have I ever been alone.  Because it's something we really need and we sincerely desire and ask for divine help, Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, will with us every step of our way in life.

Lastly, I've learned how much God's timeline is better than mine.  I have already seen all the wonderful opportunities I've had to learn and grow in my relationships with Newel, family members, friends, coworkers and others.  I've had great experiences serving in my church callings and temple assignments, working at my job, and expanding/improving my gifts and abilities that can help others.  I may not have had these opportunities had I not been going through this particular journey. Letting go of my timeline and expectations and trusting that God's plan for me is better and that His plan is the plan I want for myself too has brought so much peace and acceptance and love and light into my life again.

I know there are many, many people that have had their own experiences with fertility and each experience has had its own outcome.  I don't know what mine will be, but I trust that it will be perfect.  If anything, I know I already have more compassion for people that are going through hard things.  I know that it is because of our Savior's Atonement, His grace and power that we are lifted up, that we are able to move forward in life with peace and joy.  I am so grateful for the light and love He shares with each of us.

Thank you for reading my ramblings about my elephant.  This elephant and I haven't had the best relationship all the time, but I appreciate him more and more now.  And I'm glad I finally addressed him on my blog - even though it's not Southern.  I used to feel scared to share my thoughts and feelings related to this experience, feeling like I'd be judged for my challenge and how I was responding to it, but I feel so much more comfortable with this being a part of my life now.  Sorry if this is too much info for strangers, but I know my mom and my good friends will appreciate it. :)

Adventures Elsewhere - Innsbruck

The drive from Munich to Innsbruck, Austria was incredible.  When we saw the German Alps for the first time, I couldn't help but sing "The Hills are Alive" from The Sound of Music.

I loved the little hotel we stayed in located along the river front in Old Town Innsbruck.  Our view of the river and the mountains was beautiful.  It was cloudy and rainy when we got there so we couldn't see the stars, but we heard that you usually can see them so clearly because you're all up high in the mountains.

In the morning, we walked around Old Town and saw the Golden Roof (considered the city's most famous symbol and if you look closely, you can see it in the far background behind Newel).  Emperor Maximilian I and his wife would watch plays, festivals and other forms of entertainment held in the town square from the balcony.  Trumpeters were playing a song on the balcony when we saw it.  Our stay in Innsbruck was quiet and restful which worked out because it was also a Sunday so we didn't do much else other than walk through the town and see pretty sites here and there.

What I want to remember:
1)  Our cute little hotel, Hotel Mondschein, and the views from our room.
2)  The brightly colored buildings - I really thought the little city was quite beautiful.
3)  The church bells ringing every 15 minutes - we weren't able to go to church that day, but I felt like the church bells helped me remember God and the holiness of the Sabbath.

Adventures Elsewhere - Munich & Dachau

Wow, it's been far too long since I've posted.  I was thinking that setting a goal to finish writing about our trip would help me post more often and include other posts about visiting family in North Carolina and San Diego, as well as just the usual happenings of me and Newel here in Birmingham.  But it didn't, and that's okay.  How about I set another goal.  Do you think I can write about the adventures of our trip to Europe by the end of this month?  I'm going to try.

So after Prague, we drove to Munich.  It was a really rainy drive.  It reminded me of the rain we get in Birmingham.  There was so much rain, that a ton of water splashed up on our windshield from the other side of the freeway and I thought it was going to knock our car over.  Newel thinks that's an exaggeration, but I'm not kidding.  It was a BIG splash/smack.

When we arrived in Munich, my right hip and ankle were feeling really sore.  I'm in good physical shape, but I think all of our walking every day for the last 6 days caught up to me because that's what I remember the most when I think of Munich - my hip hurting and feeling like I was slowing Newel down with my oldness even though he's older than me, and we're both not old!  Well, Newel is kind of old.  But not me. :)

Anyway, Munich.  Really neat city.  We walked around Old Town Munich and Marienplatz and saw the Glockenspiel, Hofsgarten/Residenz and Frauenkirche.  I remember there was a lot of shopping.  Not as much as Prague, but a lot.  Munich was a lot like what we saw in East Germany but nicer.  And by nicer, I don't mean better; just different in a cleaner, newer, more well-kept kind of way.

The next morning, we drove to Dachau and saw the concentration camp.  I remember planning for our trip and telling my mom about all the things we were going to do.  After telling her about each thing, I would say, "and that will be fun".  When I told her about going to Dachau, I automatically said, "and that will be fun", but then I thought that probably wasn't the best way to describe a concentration camp.  I followed with "well, not fun, but..." and I couldn't find the words.  My mom said, "Not fun, but important.  It's important that people see it and remember it."  True that, Mom.

After that, we went to Residenz, a royal palace of Bavarian monarchs now turned huge museum.  No pictures of the inside because we couldn't take any.  And all our pictures of the outside didn't really turn out.

What we want to remember:
1) What remained of the barracks and crematorium at Dachau and all the significance of what happened there - a truly tragic chapter in the history of our human family.
2) The decorative details throughout the halls and rooms of Residenz and the fact that you could easily get lost there without the museum maps and docents.
3) How there were so many people everywhere, especially in Marienplatz while a soccer game was being broadcast.  There are SO many hardcore soccer fans in Germany.  And can I say that we were really happy about Germany winning the World Cup last summer?  I think they won because we visited their country. :)